Porridge: O(rganic) A(rtistic) T(alented) S(kier)

It was the Baron von Porridge’s maiden voyage on skis and look at him! It is fair to say his performance was stellar. He was the epitome of balance, poise and verve. No quaking here.

He rode the slopes as though born to ski, glorying in the freedom of unfettered descent.

Wearing his waterproof suit, he felt nigh on invincible but rescue workers were stationed at intervals – the baron has more at stake than most in the event of a spill.

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